7 January 2018

Babes 'n' Horny - The Mack Dildo


It's like 1996 all over again. I can hear it already, ♪ Return of the Mack. ♪

Hey everybody! I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year. Sorry for my absence so far in 2018 but I'm currently far away avoiding the continuing Winter weather, and shan't be back until next month.

Thanks to the miracle of post queuing I had the foresight to line up a few reviews to fill the gap, so let's get on with this one! 

The Mack is my first dildo from Babes 'n' Horny, a London-based company that’s been supplying the UK with hand-poured artisan sex toys since all the way back in 1993. With 25 years experience honing their craft I was pretty excited to get my hands on one and put it through its paces.

Never being one to start small, the Mack is a whopper of a dildo. There’s simply no getting around that. It’s a serious chunk of silicone, all 721 grams of it to be precise. At 10” in total length, and with a base diameter of 4 ½” you can start to get an idea of just how big it actually is.

Sitting on the table across from me it towers over everything, with a staggering lean that makes Pisa look positively vertical. It’s this unusual shape that makes the Mack unique. It’s like the tusk of a baby elephant, starting small at its rounded tip, and getting ever wider as it curves down towards the base. 

At the narrow end it measures 4 ½” in circumference, while at the widest useable section it’s an incredible 9”, effectively doubling in size. 

The shape does make the dildo especially good at one thing, and that’s in use as a training tool. The slow gentle taper, combined with the curve in the shaft, helps it to both work its way deeper into the body than you might ordinarily be able to manage, and gradually dilate the sphincter muscle to accommodate wider toys. It’s very useful as a practice toy if you’re interested in testing your limits. 

In terms of a dildo to thrust with I’d say the Mack definitely has a learning curve, and it’s something you have to figure out along the way. The first mistake that I made was trying to insert as much of it as I could right at the very beginning, and then once I tried to thrust with it I found that I couldn’t really feel anything. The problem with this approach is that once you’re down near the thick base of the dildo you’ve completely loosened up and relaxed your sphincter, so by the time you start pulling it out again the thinner sections of the shaft fail to make any contact with the areas where you want there to be sensation. 

The trick I found was to only insert as much of the dildo as you need for one good stroke, and then it performs more in line with what you might expect. As with any curved dildo there are two main orientations in which you can use it, curved towards the spine, or curved towards the prostate. With it positioned for the latter I found that the prominent ridge on the head was especially effective at simulating the prostate. It seemed to favour short shallow thrusts, and you could really feel the shape of the head intensely rubbing back and forth to a very pleasurable effect. 

With the Mack positioned the other way around it really benefited from being used a little deeper. This time it was that impressive girth of the shaft that was really pressing up against the whole prostate every time the bottom of a thrust was reached. It’s a slightly different sensation to the pinpoint intensity of the ridge, but it feels equally as good and it’s always nice to have the option of each. 

One downside to the unwieldy size of the Mack is that it’s somewhat awkward for solo use. You’re more or less relegated to placing it on a surface and riding it, because the weight and shape of the base doesn’t make it comfortable to hold. Even when riding it I found that the base would rarely sit flat against the surface it was resting on, because in that position the curve felt too extreme for comfortable use, so it ended up tilted forwards onto one of its edges.

What I do imagine the Mack is great for though is pegging, because that base is going to fit extremely securely into an O-ring harness, and the whole thing will hang down more naturally from the body at just the right angle. You are going to want a secure harness though, as the weight of the Mack requires serious support. 

The Mack is a really nicely made toy, so I can definitely attest to the quality of Babes ‘n’ Horny products. As with anything that’s completely handmade there are a few little peculiarities, such as the odd bump or divot that doesn’t seem as though it’s supposed to be there, but it’s really very minor. 

The dildos are available in practically every colour that you can imagine. I got mine in this stunning shade of red, which I’d hoped to show off more, but the high gloss finish is so shiny that I could barely get the camera on my phone to focus on it!

The Mack isn’t cheap, but if you want to make an investment in a dildo you can grab one from their website.

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