29 January 2013

Metal Worx Mr Smooth


I entered a competition recently to win £50 from Innocent Sex Toys, and when I was lucky enough to indeed win I decided to spend it on the Mr Smooth dildo from Pipedream's Metal Worx range.

The Mr Smooth is my third Metal Worx toy after the Teazer and Curve. I enjoyed those two so much that I was really keen to try out the shape of the Mr Smooth as well, especially given how attractive it looks. Check out the review after the jump!

You can't review a Metal Worx toy without talking about the packaging. The Mr Smooth comes in a heavy duty case, the style of which you might expect to find expensive camera equipment inside. The corners are all constructed from a lightweight metal, while the side panels are made from a textured black plastic which resembles carbon fibre. The lid is hinged on the back and has a firm clasp on the front. Inside the case is foam padding, with a groove cut out into which the dildo snugly fits. Not only does the case help give the Mr Smooth the appearance of being precious and expensive, but it's also a great place to securely store it when not in use. The only downside is that the case is a little bulky if you're short on space, measuring 7 1/2" x 3 1/8" x 3 1/8". My particular case came with an unfortunate dent in one of the edges, but so far it's the only one to display any damage, so I will assume that it's not common.

The Mr Smooth is more of a dildo than it is a butt plug, but it's a fairly unusual design for a dildo. It really is quite an exquisite product to behold, and with its sleek appearance it doesn't even look like a sex toy. Depending on how you hold the dildo it bears resemblance to several things; horizontally it's like a long slender fish, vertically it's like a bowling pin, and from some angles it even looks like an airship. The dildo is made from polished steel to a high standard, and the surface is completely smooth. Unfortunately there are blemishes and imperfections on this particular piece, in the form of three scratches on one end which can be both seen and felt by a finger. The scratches are only short but they do detract from the appearance of any otherwise lovely item. The dildo has a total length of 6 1/8", with 4 3/4" of that being insertable, and a 4" circumference, making it a relatively small toy. The one area where the Mr Smooth does feel big though is in terms of weight. Given the high density of metal it's one of the heavier toys in my collection, and actually very similar to the Teazer despite their different sizes.

When it comes to using the Mr Smooth it really is quite a mixed bag. To start with it's a lovely dildo to insert, and if you're unfamiliar with metal toys you may understandably assume the reverse to be true. The widest part of the toy is actually at the front of it, so it doesn't have much taper, but the end is nicely rounded and this aids in pushing it through the sphincter. So long as you have experience with keeping your sphincter completely relaxed then you shouldn't encounter much difficulty here, especially as the toy isn't overly thick. I wouldn't recommend it as a toy for a complete beginner, but if you are more in the realm of a novice then a warm up toy with a softer and more tapered tip will help. The smooth surface of the dildo glides ever so seamlessly into the body, especially if you pair it with a silicone-based lube, and it doesn't require a great deal of pressure to push it past the muscle. Despite the material being so hard it's not at all uncomfortable as it passes through the sphincter, but you are going to want to refrain from suddenly clenching down firmly on it due to the lack of cushioning in the metal. Because of the shape of the dildo you very quickly pass over the widest part, and then inserting the remainder is no trouble at all. Similarly there's no difficulty in removing the dildo as this time the taper works to your advantage, gently expanding the sphincter as you pull the dildo from the body until finally it pops out.

Once you have the Mr Smooth inside the body you have the option of using it the way in which one typically might with a dildo, or alternatively leaving it in place like a butt plug. As a butt plug it does fulfil this mandate to a certain degree, but it's not best suited to it, and not designed with that in mind. The sphincter comes to rest around the narrow neck-like portion of the dildo, just prior to the ball on the end which functions as both a handle and an anal-safe base, but because of the overall length of the dildo the neck and the ball extend out of the body more than would be considered ideal. It's perhaps not an issue for just use in the bedroom, but you certainly couldn't sit down with the ball there, and it will create a visible lump in the back of any underwear or tight trousers worn over it. The shape also isn't best suited to walking around while wearing it, as it will gradually work its way out under its own weight, due to the direction of the taper. It's not going to suddenly drop out unexpectedly, because the whole length of it has to pass out of the body before the widest point can exit, and that acts almost as an anchor giving you plenty of time to make adjustments. Constantly adjusting something worn anally, however, is less than ideal. Really, in terms of a plug, I'd suggest the Teazer far more.


The problem I have with the toy is that it does nothing, or rather the shape does nothing for me. It's possibly one of the least stimulating toys I've ever used. The first point to make is that it's not at all filling. It's a slender toy so that's to be expected, and a beginner might appreciate it, but there's no sense of a stretch in the muscle, nor of a substantial presence inside the body. The second point is in its name. It's called Mr Smooth, but it's too smooth; it practically ninjas its way in and out of the body without you feeling a thing, and I like to get some sort of sensation from my toys. The third point really comes down to its shape. It's hopeless for prostate stimulation; the end isn't bulbous enough to properly hit the prostate, the shaft has no curve so you have to manually attempt to angle it yourself, and when it's fully inserted the end completely misses the prostate anyway due to the length of the toy. I really can't figure out what to do with it; thrusting gets me nowhere, wearing it like a plug isn't especially exciting, and so I'm left with something rather bland that simply bores me. As strange as it may sound, I wish that I could like it more, simply because its such a lovely sculptural piece. It looks good in its case, it feels nice in my hand, but functionally it's a disappointment.

One of the best features of the dildo is how well metal conducts heat, which naturally makes it perfect for temperature play. In this regard it is many times better than glass, which is another popular material for this. Just picking the dildo up at room temperature will give the impression that it's already cold, which is fantastic if you're into low temperatures as it reduces the need to wait while it chills in the fridge. If cold isn't your thing then simply holding the plug in your hands for a few seconds will be enough to bring it up to a more comfortable temperature. Personally I love the feeling of a cold toy as it slides into the body, and find the sensations nothing short of amazing. The only downside is that the cold feeling doesn't last long, as the metal quickly sucks the heat out of the body and becomes quite hot to the touch. To deal with this it's handy to have a bucket of ice water nearby, as a quick dunk in there will have the dildo back down to frigid temperatures in no time. Similarly if you like your temperature play at the other end of the spectrum, a dip in a basin of hot water will also do the trick.

The dildo is very easy to clean as metal is a highly durable and non-porous material which is able to be sterilised. You can wash it with antibacterial soap and hot water, wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution, or boil it in water for a couple of minutes. Just be sure to dry it thoroughly when you're done, as the packaging only specifies that it's steel, and not stainless steel, so there is the potential for rusting if you're not careful. One other thing is that metal does show up fingerprints, so depending on how fussy you are you may find yourself polishing your butt plug before putting it away.

The Mr Smooth is a really lovely toy to look at, but unfortunately for me I just found that the design felt quite boring. I look for a toy that's going to really stimulate me and keep me coming back again and again, but sadly this doesn't seem to be the one for that. In terms of quality I could definitely recommend it, but if you want a good metal plug then I'd suggest the Teazer, if you want prostate stimulation then go for the Curve, and if you want something interesting to thrust with then I'd look into the Slim Fave. I can only really conclude that as an anal toy the Mr Smooth has quite limited potential, though if anyone does get enjoyment from it this way then I'd love to hear about it.

The Metal Worx Mr Smooth is available from these fine retailers:

UK & Europe: SexToys.co.uk, Lovehoney UK, and SexShop365.

North America: Lovehoney USA and NiteTimeToys.

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