29 February 2012

Leap Day Update

Lots of things are happening this leap day!

1.) The new Flight from FleshJack has been released. It looks very exciting and I'd love to get my hands on one.

2.) I received some free samples of H2O Gel and Force Recon from Gun Oil. Many thanks to them, reviews will be forthcoming.

3.) My Super Big End order has shipped, along with some free silicone anal beads made by Sportsheets.

27 February 2012

Toy Sizes

Toys come in a variety of sizes, and are often produced according to diameter. As it can be hard to tell the size of an object just from reading a measurement, I've created an image of the most popular sizes on the market. The image is to scale, and depending on your monitor settings, should display as actual size.

As you can see the sizes are typically listed in Inches, and increase by increments of 1/4". Now 1/4" doesn't sound like a great deal, but as I think the image illustrates quite well, 1/4" on the diameter translates to quite a large increase in the circumference of the toy.

More images and discussion after the jump!

26 February 2012


I took a few group photos of the majority of the toys in my collection. The way things are going I shall need to get a bigger shelf soon. I find displaying them like this helps to add perspective to their relative sizes.

25 February 2012

TitanMen Big Stuff

The lovely people at SexToys.co.uk sent me one of these to review last month. I was looking for an anal dildo that was on the thicker side, and this certainly did not disappoint.

Read the review after the jump!

24 February 2012

Doc Johnson Round Butt Plug

The lovely people at SexToys.co.uk sent me this toy to test. What really appealed to me about it was the unusual spherical shape, opposed to the traditional conical shape most butt plugs come in.

Read the review after the jump!

23 February 2012

Testimonial: Lovehoney

Lovehoney is currently the UK's largest online retailer of sex toys since their humble beginnings in 2001, and also the country's best known after featuring in the Channel 4 documentary "More Sex Please, We're British" and the Lifetime UK mini-series "Frisky Business." It's also one of my favourite shops to use.

Lovehoney has a website that's tasteful and easy to use, allowing you to quickly find the products you want, as well as all the relevant information on individual pieces, such as sizes, materials, and feel. They even have a number of extremely useful product demonstration videos, showcasing how easily a given toy can bend, or how powerful a vibrator is in a bowl of water, and all this comes without even the slightest hint of smut.

If you're not sure whether a product is going to be right for you, then Lovehoney has thousands of product reviews left by real customers of all ages, genders, and sexualities, and they're all published right there on the relevant pages ready for you to read, both the good and the bad. It really helps you to make a more educated shopping decision, rather than just a stab in the dark.

Lovehoney also has an award-winning level of customer service, and I can speak to this first hand. Back when I purchased my Cobra Libre from them the first unit I received was faulty, so I spoke to someone from customer services and quickly arranged to have a replacement sent, with almost no hassle involved. The staff are very helpful and I couldn't fault them. You can contact them by e-mail, telephone, or live webchat, depending on what suits you.

The returns policy that they have at Lovehoney is completely unrivalled amongst adult retailers, and if I had to pick one reason above all others for recommending Lovehoney then this would be it. From the day you purchase any item at Lovehoney you have a full 365 days to return it, and for absolutely any reason. This doesn't just apply to unused toys either; you can send anything back, no matter how used and abused it is, and as long as you're within that 12 month window then you can still get a refund in full. It makes the process of buying sex toys completely risk free, because no matter how many reviews you've read you can still end up with a doozy, but if you hate it you can send it back. If something's too big, too small, too weak, if it breaks after 6 months, if you simply get bored of it, then you can return it for a full refund, no questions asked. If it is used though, then spare a thought for the lovely Andrea in returns and give it a good wash before putting it in the post. I'm sure many of us can relate to making a bad sex toy purchase, and feeling annoyed as this thing sits around gathering dust while we're out of pocket, so I can only commend Lovehoney for eliminating the problem. It's almost a guarantee that every pound you will spend with them will bring you pleasure.

The prices that Lovehoney offers are quite competitive. They're not always the cheapest around, but they offset this with their "Deal of the Day" and regular sales. I picked up my TitanMen Intimidator for only £10, reduced from £40, making a massive saving of 75%, so it's quite possible to get a great bargain. Personally I'm happy to pay a little more, just for the piece of mind of their returns policy, rather than saving a couple of quid elsewhere and running the risk of being stuck with a dud purchase.

Lovehoney offers quite an extensive product range, so you're bound to be able to find something that suits you. Often they'll get in new products before anyone else in the country, so it's worth checking their "What's New" section frequently. The only downside is that they do frequently discontinue products if they're not fast sellers, so sometimes you will have to shop elsewhere if there's a particular product you read about that you really want, and they no longer stock it.

Like all sex toy retailers Lovehoney ships its products in discreet packaging, so what shows up at your doorstep will just be a plain brown box. It won't even say "Lovehoney" on your bank statement, and Lovehoney take customer discretion so seriously that they don't even like people to mention in writing what will appear on the statement, to make it harder for anyone to Google the name and connect it back to Lovehoney. That's a laudable commitment to privacy.

Finally, if you want more than just a shopping experience, Lovehoney has a blog jam-packed with sex tips and competitions, a forum where you can discuss toys and the like with other customers, and a Twitter account where you can keep up to date with all that's going on.

I encourage anyone in the UK to check out Lovehoney, and they've recently launched a site in the United States too.

TitanMen Intimidator

Admittedly I'm someone who can't say no to a bargain, so when I saw this behemoth of an anal dildo on sale for £10 - a quarter of what it normally sells for - I couldn't help but snap it up in an instant. It had to come in use eventually right?

Read the review after the jump!

22 February 2012

Rocks Off RO-160mm

The nice people over at Lovehoney have sent me my first item to review for them, the Rocks Off RO-160mm. It's a full-sized version of the Ammunition for Love bullets that Rocks Off are best known for, and I was interested to see how it would measure up. It's also available in pink for those who prefer that.

Read the review after the jump!

21 February 2012

Gun Oil H2O

I was looking for a new water-based lube to try out recently, and being a big fan of Gun Oil's signature silicone product I decided to grab a 5ml sachet of Gun Oil H2O last time I was ordering toys.

Read the review after the jump!

Clincher Cock Ring

I used to have a set of three cheap cock rings, but I never managed to get on with them very well; they were awkward to try to wear, and either too tight or slightly too loose. An adjustable cock ring seemed like the answer.

Read the review after the jump!

Doc Johnson "The Groove"

I was in the mood for something slender for a change in contrast to my other toys, and also something with a really bumpy surface, almost similar to anal beads, and this is what I found.

Read the review after the jump!

LELO Billy

After my disappointment with previous prostate massagers I wasn't ready to give up yet, and this ergonomic creation from Swedish luxury sex toy designer Lelo happened to catch my eye.

Read the review after the jump!

20 February 2012

Quick guide to lubes

Found this image and wanted to share; it's stuff everyone should know.

Pierre Fitch Dildo

Back in September 2011 the lovely people at SexToys.co.uk sent me this beautiful dildo from Fleshjack to test for them, and in the subsequent weeks following my review every single one sold out (something which I'd like to believe I played a part in).

This was actually my first phallic/realistic dildo, and it soon became one of my favourites. Up until that point I was only vaguely aware of who Pierre Fitch was, but this dildo left me as a firm fan. There's something I find incredibly arousing about knowing that it was moulded from the penis of an actual person, and a porn star at that.

Read the review after the jump!

19 February 2012

Testimonial: SexToys.co.uk

SexToys.co.uk was the first adult website I ever purchased anything from, largely stemming from the fact it was the number one result when I typed "sex toys" into Google, but to this day it has remained my most used online retailer for all things coital, and for good reason.

Read the full testimonial after the jump!

Pearl Palm Pleasure

I was given the Pearl Palm Pleasure as a freebie to try out, and so far it's the only toy I've sampled from the Loving Joy brand. Given the quality of it I'm somewhat reluctant to ever try any of their other wares. I wouldn't normally want to spoil a review, but this is one toy to avoid.

Read the review after the jump!

18 February 2012

Tantus Tulip

The Tantus Tulip is one my favourite butt plugs in my collection. It was sent to me as my first item to review for the lovely people at Sextoys.co.uk

Read the review after the jump!

17 February 2012

Fleshjack Ice Bottom Original

As someone who had been happily masturbating by hand for well over a decade I was always slightly dubious about the need for extra equipment. With the Fleshjack being an American product I had entertained the possibility that it had been developed in part to help compensate for the fact that the majority of them are circumcised, and thus it would be largely redundant for everyone else. After I got the opportunity to try out one of them I quickly changed my opinion, and soon purchased one for myself.

Read the review after the jump!

16 February 2012

Doc Johnson Classic Butt Plug

I was looking for a large butt plug to help train myself to accept another toy, and that wouldn't break the bank, and this cheap and cheerful item from Doc Johnson did just the trick.

If you're looking for a higher quality version then check out my review of the Super Big End.

15 February 2012

Double Bubble Gum Drops

Originally I bought this butt plug from the Doc Johnson 'Gum Drops' range because not only did I think it looked attractive, but because I made the mistake of thinking that due to the shape it would be a useful tool for anal training and working up to the larger section. It ended up taking a while and the purchase of an additional toy before I could finally fit it in completely, but generally I have been pleased.

Read the review after the jump!

Rocks Off Ass-Berries Blackberry

When I first caught site of the Blackberry I found its whole appearance to be irresistible, and I immediately knew that I had to have one. What could be cuter than a vibrating butt plug fashioned after a wild fruit?

Read the review after the jump!

Rocks Off Bad Boy

Having tried dildos and butt plugs before, vibrating prostate massage seemed like the next logical step. Rocks Off do a whole range of these toys, including the Naughty Boy, Rude Boy, Cheeky Boy, Bad Boy, Big Boy and Butt Boy. I decided to go for the Bad Boy, because the bumps looked intriguing, and I chose it in red because it's my favourite colour. These products tend to divide opinions quite strongly, between those who can fit the hooked shape, and those who find it utterly impractical.

Read the review after the jump!

14 February 2012

Gun Oil Silicone

This silicone lube is Gun Oil's original and signature product. The story goes that during Operation Desert Storm in the early 90s, U.S. marines would take the oil from their guns and use it to masturbate, as it was the only lubricant that wouldn't break down in the scorching heat of the Persian Gulf. From there a commercial idea emerged, and Gun Oil® was born.

Read the review after the jump!

Doc Johnson "The Tool"

The Tool by Doc Johnson was the first ever sex toy I purchased, and it remains one of my favourites to this day. I never used to be that crazy about the idea of bottoming during anal sex, having only ever tried putting a finger inside myself before, so when I decided that it was time for that to change, I went in search of an anal dildo, and this is what I settled on. As a complete anal virgin at the time I couldn't have been happier with my choice. Despite some expected resistance initially, once the toy was inside not only was it comfortable, but it introduced me to a whole new variety of fun.

Read the review after the jump!


With this first post I officially join the ranks of the sex toy bloggers throughout the Internet!

I decided to create this blog because sex toys are something I have an interest in, and have been talking and writing about for a while. A blog seemed like the perfect place to opine on the subject, and to aggregate all the reviews I leave on online stores. I also wanted to offer a male perspective on a subject which is typically dominated by a number of very competent female bloggers.

I'm always open to to trying a wide variety of toys, so expect reviews on everything from masturbators to prostate massagers to butt plugs and beyond! Many of the items I review I've purchased myself, and on other occasions retailers which I shall credit have generously sent them to me for free, but I always maintain an honest and impartial assessment of them.

I don't write with a specific audience in mind, and as many of the toys are unisex, and able to be enjoyed by both men and women, gay and straight alike, I believe that there should be something here for everyone.

This blog is a work in progress, so there may be some style changes along the way, but I hope you enjoy reading it and it proves useful.